Things to do before you have kids

The decision to become a parent is an important step in an adult's life. Children can impact your life in many ways, and they will most certainly affect your finances.

From daycare costs to an increase in medical insurance premiums to higher costs on groceries and clothing, becoming a parent doesn't come cheap. Here is a look at five things you should do financially before having children.

Maintain a Residence

Prior to taking the plunge into parenthood, one of the most important financial moves you can make is securing a stable residence. Whether you own a home or rent a house or apartment, it is important to be well-established in your residence before becoming a parent. Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital can be stressful for many new parents. Being established in your home allows you to plan ahead for your baby's arrival.

Have a Stable Income

Another highly important financial task that should be tackled prior to expanding your family is to ensure that you have a steady job and income. By having a steady job, you are ensuring that a regular cash flow is available to pay for expenses like rent and bills. A steady income also allows you to maximize the amount you are able to save for the future. By optimizing your savings, you are helping to safe-proof your future from financial uncertainty.

Pay Down Debt and Optimize Your Credit Score

A financially smart move to make before increasing your family size is to pay down your debt and optimize your credit score. It is wise to pay off your existing debt before taking on more expenses that come associated with raising a family. No one wants to be in debt. By paying down your debt and optimizing your credit score, you are helping to make sure that your financial future is a bright one.

Secure Quality Health Insurance

Another matter of high priority that should be accomplished prior to considering parenthood is enrolling in a quality health insurance policy. To protect your finances against unexpected medical costs, finding a health insurance policy that offers a broad range of services is of the utmost importance. Additionally, with healthcare reform taking the country by storm, health insurance has now become a requirement as opposed to a luxury. Be prepared and enroll in a quality health insurance policy prior to jumping into parenthood.

Learn to Budget Effectively

Learning to budget effectively prior to entering parenthood is a matter of high concern. Many parents find that their finances become strained after having a new baby, and learning to budget effectively can be difficult if you've never adhered to a financial plan before. By budgeting effectively now, you can help to ensure that your family's financial future is strong. Start small, and begin to cut frivolous purchases out of your household budget. It may also be helpful to determine what expenses are necessary and what could be eliminated from your monthly budget. You'll soon be on track to spending less, saving more and preparing for a brighter financial picture.

The Bottom Line

Before you take the plunge head first into parenthood, consider taking these important financial steps first. Not only will it help your financial situation now, but your future financial state will benefit from your proactive measures. Some stability, financial planning and common sense can go a long way when you are planning for your future. When you are finally ready to make the plunge, you will find yourself in a much more financially secure state.

Common mistakes by credit card holders

Carrying cash may  be cumbersome sometimes and risky  too.


Undoubtedly, the arrival of credit cards on the scene has made life simpler and convenient.


For some people using credit card is a way of life, whereas for some handling cash is a better option. We notice that many people use their credit cards wisely whereas  there are few who are careless towards their credit cards. Remember if not used wisely, Credit Cards can make one’s life miserable. .


In this article I have analyzed the common mistakes that cardholders make and how they can avoid these mistakes.


Ignoring the terms and conditions


No doubt the terms and conditions are quite difficult  to understand, but one needs to try. Ignoring them is not going to make them disappear. Many cardholders are surprised when they notice a change in interest rates or annual fees being charged on their free for life time cards. Read the terms and conditions carefully and try to understand them. If you have any difficulty, you can call up the customer care division for clarifications or simply search on Internet for the meaning of those terms.


Ignoring Monthly Statement


Reading your monthly statement is as important as reading the terms and conditions. Keep a track of your monthly spends on credit cards and cross check for any suspicious charges on your card. Call customer care immediately if you notice any spends that you did not make are being reflected in your billing statement as credit card frauds are rampant.


Paying only minimum dues


Minimum monthly dues are usually 5% of the total outstanding amount. At this rate it will take more than a year to pay off the entire dues. It is a happy situation for the credit card issuer, but not for the cardholder. The card issuer will get its share of high interest rate, which can range between  26% – 47% p.a. including service charges. Secondly, all the new purchases on the card get combined with the outstanding amount and the interest is charged on the combined balance. Paying only the minimum amount due will keep the cardholder in debt for a long time. Whenever possible pay more than what is minimum due to keep the debt down to manageable level.


Ignoring payment due date


Make sure you know the payment due dates on each credit card you hold. Delayed payment will add more burden on your finances with hefty interest charges and late payment fees (up to Rs. 787/-) and frequent delays in payment will also affect your credit score. If you have been paying your dues on time and have missed one payment, you can call up the card issuer and request them to waive the penalty charges though it is not a binding on them to do so.


If you have not done it till now, then subscribe immediately to the card issuer service of sending an sms or email reminding about the payment due date. If you are frequent traveler or too occupied with your professional obligations, subscribe to auto debit facility. But make sure there is enough balance in your account to avoid any payment dishonour t, else you will be penalized from both ends i.e. your banker as well as card issuer (up to Rs. 562/- incl. service tax).


Overspending


Impulse shopping on credit card gives a kick, but on the wrong side and by the time we realize it, it is too late in most cases. This is how the debts on credit cards grow.
Before you shop on credit card, just analyze your financial situation and ask yourself:
1.    Do you really want it?
2.    Can you really afford it?
3.    If buying on EMI, how much it will cost and how long you will be paying?


Try answering these questions before you make those purchases. This will help you take a little control on your finances.


Avoid withdrawing cash against credit card


Withdrawing cash against credit card is as simple as withdrawing cash on your debit card. But the trap lies in  the withdrawal fees, which is usually up to 33.7% p.a. incl. service tax plus interest rate ranging from 26% – 47% p.a. including service charges. Remember that the interest rate is applicable from day one as there is no free credit period for cash withdrawals. Do not ever fall in the trap of withdrawing money against your credit card unless and until it is an extreme emergency. Then too make sure that you pay back the same at the earliest.


Having multiple credit cards


Having and managing multiple cards can definitely increase your credit ratings. But remember that each application for credit cards gets registered as an enquiry in your credit report. Excessive numbers of such enquiries indicates that you are “Credit Hungry” and in an urgent need of money. This makes the providers more cautious while evaluating your application for any credit facility. Don’t pick too many credit cards. Just have 2-3 cards that offer required credit limit and low interest rate on revolving credit facility. Acquiring too  many credit cards is a temptation with many  obsessive spenders.


This way we see that credit card offers convenience but only to those who use it wisely and do not fall into the golden trap (or Platinum, Titanium trap) laid by the credit card companies.

5 tips to MAXIMISE productivity at work

Instead of wasting precious time reading and replying to emails all day, sticking to a to-do list can go a long way in helping you sort, prioritise and finish things on time.


We all want to work less and enjoy our time more.
Well, with a little help from us, you can!
Finding ways to maximise your productivity means that you will have time to do the things you really want to do.
After all, all work and no play makes you a very dull person.


1. The 80/20 principle

The 80/20 principle helps you to maximise your productive time by finding out what you are most efficient at doing.
This means you need to figure out the areas in which you can accomplish 80 per cent of your goals in 20 per cent of the time it would take another person.
We all develop specialised skill sets over the years that allows us to do some things more easily than others.
Whether they be in repetitive work or brainstorming for a new ad campaign, there are some skills that make us exceptionally good at our work.
So find your 20 per cent work niche and try to maximise the time you spend doing this kind of work.
Then you can explore your other interests and hobbies at leisure.



2. Keep your mind and body active

Create a mental gym for yourself where you can 'work out' every day.
Your mind needs a workout as much as your body does.
Using things like stimulating debates and conversations, readings on politics and social change, literary classics and even brain-training games, take the time to work out your mind.
Keep certain activities or games on hand for times when you start to feel dull and sluggish.
Keeping your mind awake and alert will help to tone your efficiency at doing certain tasks, improve your reaction times, improve your memory and problem-solving skills and improve your concentration as well.
Moreover, they will help to keep your mind healthy.
For best results, you also have to look after your body by eating a balanced diet and exercising regularly.


3. Take time out

More important than spending time to train your mind to be faster at certain activities is making relaxation an essential part of your day.
Find time, sometimes in the middle of your work day, to close your eyes and just blank out.
We have so many unnecessary thoughts clouding up our minds, it's necessary to work consciously at prioritising the ones that matter.
This will also help you manage your thoughts and return to the frenzied concentration of your job with more clarity and increased productivity.
Also, balance your work in such a way that you and keep you going.
Inspiration is the root of all productivity after all


4. Organise your e-mails

Is e-mail the bane of your existence?
Most office workers spend vast amounts of their day just reading emails and replying to them.
This is not productive work, although it may seem like it. Moreover, the interruption often eats away at your concentration.
The most productive people across the world switch off their email notifications for the majority of the day and only check it at designated points of time -- often once in the morning and once at night.
If you are spend hours of the day just going through your inbox, then consider adopting a more efficient way of tackling this time-consuming distraction so that you can be more productive at your work.


5. The Not-To-Do list

A lot of people find it difficult to identify the areas where their input is not crucial.
One of the easiest ways to increase your productivity is to make a not-to-do list.
List the things that waste the most amount of time in the day – from managing your schedule and arranging meetings to communicating work tasks to the rest of your team.
Delegate these tasks wherever possible and find more efficient ways to complete the work that you are already doing.
The more people succeed, the more they attract additional responsibilities. But there is only so much energy and time you have in a day.
Your not-to-do list should include all tasks that are not part of your job description.
Once you remove these unnecessary tasks from your day, you will be surprised at the amount of free time you have to yourself.

4 tips to concentrate better at work

Is your email and text messaging impairing your concentration at work? Learn how to prioritise your information.
Information has become the most important commodity in our knowledge economy.
From our mobile phones, tablets and computers, we have 24-hour-access to information all the time.
We even get Blackberry messages and alerts at 5 am every time we get an email for work. But does being plugged in to the vast information network out there assist or hinder you in your job?
This deluge of data seems to provide more pain than gain. This is not only limited to the data that keeps hitting your inbox but also the compulsion that one feels to keep abreast of the latest news and trends to be updated at work.
If you are one of those people who constantly looks at email, chat messenger and social media updates and suffers from withdrawal symptoms, then you may be one of those in danger of information overload!
Well, here you may be asking, how bad can it be? Too much information can't hurt anyone. Well, it certainly harms your productivity; according to one study, for example, people took an average of half an hour to return to their work after being interrupted by an email.
Moreover, information overload affects managers at higher levels on a psychological level. According to a survey by Reuters, two-third of managers felt that information overload decreased their job satisfaction and harmed their personal relationships.
Even more worryingly, one-third felt that their health had been indirectly damaged due to information overload.
Research by the Harvard Business School proves that people have reduced creativity on days when they are interrupted every half hour or so. There are even some claims that the relentless flow of information lowers people's intelligence!
Here are some tips on how to avoid being flooded by information and keeping your focus on the task at hand while at work.



1. Switch off your email
  

One of the best ways to deal with too much information is to just switch off for a certain period of time in a day and to take regular intervals away from your inbox.
You will be able to concentrate on the task at hand.
Google even has an option that allows you to take a break from your email; when you click it, it turns your email screen grey and displays the following message: "Break time! Take a walk, get some real work done or have a snack. We'll be back in 15 minutes."


2. Prioritise

Another option is to set aside certain time slots to reply to your emails and social media networks, such as only in the morning or evening when you first come in and before you leave.
If that is not possible for you, it would be a great idea to invest in software that prioritises your email for you, from critically important to spam.
Similarly, only subscribe to the most important posts you want to see on your Facebook wall and hide the rest


3. Have a productive mindset

There are a number of ideas espoused by productivity gurus on ways to take control of your information overload problem.
This involves modifying your thinking and behaviour in small stems. For example, one can adopt Merlin Mann's idea of 'inbox zero', or never letting your email accumulate to such an extent that it feels as if an avalanche is about to break over your head.
Another mindset is to only use a limited number of sentences to construct short, sweet replies to your emails regardless of the subject or the person you are sending it to so you don't procrastinate while answering emails.
One can adopt a Zen-like philosophy to shed feelings of guilt for not reading or replying to every single message.
If things get too bad, some even empty out their email inboxes altogether to get off on a fresh start.


4. Manage your information

To avoid being overwhelmed and constantly distracted by a slew of information, switch off automatic notifications on your email and your mobile and computer chat messages while you are working.
Then during short breaks, check and reply to important messages only.
If you can't get to an email for some time, then let the sender know when you will be able to get to it.
Also, when sending out emails and reports, create a clear subject line and use formatting like bullets, highlights and italics, to make important statements stand out.
Also, for your own sanity, do your best to send out less emails and messages. For each message you send out, you are likely to get two responses.
Now that you are aware of the havoc that information overload causes, ensure that you don't burden people with useless emails and messages.
Keep it short, simple and sweet!

How To Build Self-Discipline

How To Build Self-Discipline

A mere mention of the word self-discipline is enough to make some people fidget uneasily in their seats. “Why do we need restrictions”, they ask.

The word discipline brings about a sense of boredom and the notion of a life without fun. Freedom is what people crave, the freedom to do as they wish and as they feel.

Self-discipline, however, is the exact opposite. It is all about acting how you think you should act, rather than how you feel you ought to. It is a case of the mind over the heart. It is about the need to do what is right – what needs to be done – rather than what you want to do. Discipline is real freedom. An undisciplined person is a slave to his whims and desires – definitely not a good trait to have. So what are the characteristic traits of a self-disciplined person? Let us discuss.

1. Conscious and aware

A conscious effort is required to ensure that you work according to the need of the hour, and not on a whimsical basis. It is all about prioritizing. More often than not, what you ‘want’ to do is something that can always be done at a later time, but what you ‘need’ to do is of utmost priority. Maintaining awareness about the decision you have to make and the impact it will have in the future is the key.

2. Commitment

Self-discipline can never be achieved without commitment of the highest order. It is obviously very difficult to discipline ourselves, and this is where commitment comes into the picture. What generally happens is that the initial enthusiasm of getting on a new path often fades away with time. If you choose to remain committed towards your goals, there isn’t much that can stop you from achieving your goals.

3. Courage - NOT the cowardly dog

Let's face it – it is very difficult to try and force your moods and desires not to overshadow your thought process and to go against them. It is so much easier to give in to your yearnings. However, that is the sign of a coward. Real courage comes from standing up for what is right, in fighting for what we believe in. You need to have a strong belief that you will succeed. This is a very essential step towards building self-discipline.

4. Consistency

There is a train of thought, which says that to make a habit of something; one must persist at the said activity for at least 3 weeks. Beyond this time period, it becomes routine and comes naturally to us. It no longer requires a conscious effort to maintain. This is what you can achieve with consistency. Consistency is what will take you through the process of building up self-discipline.

5. Role model, please!

It always helps to have somebody to look up to, while trying to achieve something. The best example in this case is of people going to the gym. Constantly remind yourself of the levels you want to achieve, and look up to a person who has already reached that stage. For example, if you want to get a ripped body, think of the effort that Aamir ‘perfectionist’ Khan had put in to develop that look for the movie Ghajini. This will make you realize that nothing is impossible, and with self-discipline, any target can be achieved.


6. Progress tracking

This is the most vital step. Maintain a log at appropriate time intervals, daily or on every alternate day, to monitor your progress. This will let you know how effective your steps have been at disciplining yourself. With positive results, you will be inspired to stick to the same path and maintain your intensity.

All of us have the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, prompting and suggesting what we should do, both contradicting the other. In the end, it lies in our hands, who we listen to. That is the beauty of freedom, of choice. It is ours, to pick the right way forward.

7 simple ways to make your day better

How to make your day better 1: Wake up a few minutes earlier
You know the scenario; you wake up in a flurry of panic the moment your alarm goes off because you need to be on time for work. You rush around the house trying to get ready but somehow get more cereal down your crisp white shirt than in your mouth; you put the milk in the dishwasher instead of the fridge; and, as you rush from room to room your sleeve gets stuck on the door handle, sending you hurtling back a metre as you were mid-way through marching out of the living room on a mission (is there anything more annoying when you’re in a rush?). As you can probably relate to from this example, being short of time makes your stress levels rise and you’re in a pickle faster than you can say “should have set my alarm earlier”. Make your mornings easier by setting your alarm 15 minutes before you need to get up. This will leave plenty of time for your body and mind to wake up so you can get ready without the stress.


How to make your day better 2: Make a happy list
Sometimes we dwell on the things that make us sad rather than concentrating on what makes us happy. It takes a little brain training to change your thought process from negative to positive, and a good way to do this is make a list of things that make you happy and keep referring to it every time you feel sad. Whether you want to write down your favourite quote from a movie, the date of a holiday you have booked, or you stick down a photograph of yourself on one of the happiest days of your life, it’s sure to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down in the dumps. Corny? Yes. Helpful? Most definitely.


How to make your day better 3: Sniff a lemon
Yep, you read that right. To improve your day, simply sniff a lemon. Scientists at Tel Aviv University suggest that citrus fragrances – particularly lemon – can alleviate depression and boost our mood. Indeed, the smell of a lemon boosts your levels of serotonin (a feel-good hormone) and lowers levels of norepinephrine (a stress hormone), so improve your day by burning a lemon scented candle or spritzing on a lemony fragrance, or you could just go all out and sniff a lemon.
Sniff a lemon to boost your mood


How to make your day better 4: Cuddle someone
With the soaring popularity of the ‘cuddle party’ phenomenon, more and more people are discovering the benefits of a good snuggle. A warm embrace boosts the natural feel-good hormones released by the body, reduces stress, and creates a feeling of mutual trust. Beware though, whilst cuddling is a great mood-enhancer, we do recommend that you be selective over whom you choose to embrace; your boss or the window cleaner may not appreciate a cuddle as much as your spouse or your pet. If you prefer something a little less intimate, there’s nothing to stop you from expressing your feelings through a man hug (yes, this can be done by the ladies too), or maybe even a high-five to release those happy hormones.


How to make your day better 5: Sweat it out
Encourage your body’s natural feel good hormones to give your mood – and ultimately your day – a boost. Walk the dog, go for a run, or dance around the living room for half an hour; anything that gets your blood pumping and makes you sweat will do the trick. The endorphins released during exercise are scientifically proven to boost your mood, making any form of physical activity a sure-fire way to boost your day.


How to make your day better 6: Have a bath
Rather than that quick dash in and out of the shower, make some me-time and have a bubble bath and some time to work on your personal appearance. Our day always seems to go better when we look and feel our best, so gentlemen, have a shave and use a deep moisturising balm. Ladies, apply face and hair masks and paint your nails alongside your bath. It’s surprising how much a little me-time can perk up your day.




How to make your day better 7: Prioritise your tasks
A common reason for us to be having a bad day is stress. Having a long list of tasks to do can be overwhelming so tackle any problems head-on at the start of the day to get them out of the way as early as possible. Tackling your problems in the morning will eliminate feelings of worry throughout the rest of your day. A good way to prioritise your tasks is to write them all down and then number them from one to 10, with one being the most important, and 10 being the least important. Work your way through the tasks starting with the most important first, and tick them off as you go along. You will feel a sense of achievement each time you tick a task off.

Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married

Everyone feels that everyone around them is getting married.

Seeing friends tie the knot and settle down makes you feel the peer pressure to do the same. We know that marriage is the social norm, but then we also know that marriage is not for everyone. If you find yourself questioning the institution of marriage, then that is reason enough to not walk down the aisle. In case you need more reasons, they are listed below.


1. Routine
There is nothing more tormenting and boring that routine. If you think adventure can get too much to handle, try routine; it is sure to mentally exhaust you. Routine is one thing that marriage guarantees. In order to skip the torments of settling down and getting sucked into routine, avoid getting married.


2. No more free reign
Once you have a wife to share your room with, you won’t be able to leave the toothpaste cap open, you won’t get to fling your towel across the room, and you won’t get to sleep on the entire bed like a boss. In short, your free reign will end and you will go from king to companion in 7 pheras. Is giving up on this king size life worth it?


3. It’s babies next
Marriage is the first trap. The next one is babies. Before you know it, you’ll go from courting a new bride to changing diapers of your newborn. Like sharing your bed wasn’t difficult enough, you’ll now have to share your space with a wailing kid. This should be reason big enough for you not to get married.


4. Less time with friends
Once you get married, you won’t get the time (or permission) to hang out at length with your buddies. Marriage means you can bid goodbye to regular get-togethers with friends, beer parties, impromptu sleep overs and late night drives. If you are willing to give up on all of the above, then you can go ahead with your marriage plans.


This is just the tip of iceberg. When you get married, you will be expected to function as per someone else’s mood swings, likes and dislikes from time to time. Therefore, there are reasons aplenty for you to not get married and continue to stay single and happy.

Finance tips for single women

Considering most women are single for a large part of their adulthood, here are ways to help them financially secure their future.
Most women are single for a large part of their adult lives considering they either marry late or are divorced or just prefer to stay single. But most women are not great at putting their own needs first, though when it comes to personal finances, women must consider their own needs and wants in order to secure their financial future.

Budget

First and foremost, build yourself a solid budget and stick to it. This is just good sense for absolutely everyone – single, married or divorced. Examine your monthly expenses, remembering to include everything from housing costs, utilities, groceries, car payments, gasoline, insurance and aesthetics. Do the same for your income. You should also examine methods for reducing costs, like eating meals at home or reducing the amount you spend on entertainment expenses.

Avoid Giving in to Impulse
It's probably true that most women love to shop. It can be hard to avoid giving in to impulse when you find a great deal on a pair of cute shoes or a new outfit. It's also important to avoid emotional spending. Learning to avoid unnecessary expenditures can really help to improve your financial situation – especially when you've got other expenses that are more urgent, or when giving in means you have to borrow money on your credit card.


Save for rainy days

It's an unfortunate fact of life, but we can all expect things to go wrong on occasion. Keeping some money stashed away for those rainy days will help you to afford those unexpected expenses when they do come up. Just remember to set realistic expectations for yourself. Don't save more than you can realistically afford, but don't underestimate the importance of saving either.


Buy a Home
Purchasing a home is a big step for anyone, whether you're doing it on your own or as a couple. Purchasing a home is generally a solid investment that will reward you in the future, especially since renting is essentially the same as giving your money away to someone else. As a single woman, you'll need to ask yourself a number of questions before buying. Can you afford this home on a single income? Is the area safe for a single person to live in? Make a list of what you want and understand what you can afford before you contact a realtor and start looking at what's out there.


Consider Your Retirement Plans
Even if retirement seems like eons away, you'll want to start thinking about it as early as possible. Financial security isn't only about achieving your short-term goals; you've got to consider your long-term goals as well.


Don't be Afraid to Invest
So you've managed to budget and save your money. Now you've got a healthy stockpile of cash to get you through those rainy days. What should you do with all that extra cash? Though investing may seem like a scary thing, have faith in yourself and believe that you can learn the ins and outs of the finance world. You can always enlist the help of an investment manager or finance expert to guide you along the way.

Invest in Yourself
Always keep in mind that you've got to enjoy life too, so don't completely give up on spoiling yourself once in a while. Go on a holiday, to a day spa or treat yourself to something truly special once in a while. View it as an investment in yourself and your own happiness.


Before You Walk Down the Aisle
Though it might be an exciting time when you're considering taking the plunge and getting married, don't forget that you really need to have a serious talk with your new partner about money before you get married. You will need to know that his goals and spending habits are compatible with yours and that you're not marrying someone who will drain you financially, destroying all the hard work you've done to create a financially secure life for yourself.


Bottom Line

Long gone are the days of considering single women to be spinsters. Women are becoming more and more comfortable in taking control of their own finances, shaping their financial futures and turning their goals into realities. serious talk with your new partner about money before you get married.

Reasons why you should get married

Marriage is one of the longest surviving institutions in the world.

In practise since times immemorial, it has come to be considered as an integral part of human evolution and social norm. While the reasons why people get married may vary from person to person, what stands true is that almost everyone does get married. Not as bad as some people make it to be, marriage is a bond of commitment between a man and a woman that has its fair share of positives. And these positives are the reason you should consider giving marriage a chance.


1. A sense of stability


Marriage will bring to your life a sense of stability and calmness. Not to be seen as just another thing to accomplish in life, you need to view marriage as the beginning of a lifelong companionship with your partner. Having someone to go back home to and feeling that ‘settled down’ feel is what makes marriage worth giving a shot


2. The next step


Life evolves through a variety of stages as we grow up. As kids we go to school, then we enter college in our teens, and follow that up with work as we grow into young adults. Marriage is a step that is an inevitable part of the adult life. It is only logical to work your way through life by passing through each stage when the time is right, and thus do justice to your existence.


3. Having someone to share


This is one of the most important reasons why one should get married. Having a partner through the journey of life, with whom you can share your joys, sorrows, the ups and downs, disappointments, progress, happiness and so on is a fulfilling and emotionally enriching experience. Having a life partner that you can fall back on brings a sense of fulfillment and belonging that will help you grow as a person.


No matter what the cynics say, marriage is not something to be scared of. In fact it should be embraced and given a fair chance. If you commit with all your heart and approach it with a positive state of mind, you will have a successful and fulfilling marriage. For sure.


LINK TO:
 Reasons Why You Should Not Get Married:

Creative Ways To Find A Job

CREATIVE WAYS TO FIND A JOB
Unemployed? Here Are Some Creative Ways to Find a Job

You’ve trolled through a thousand Craigslist ads, posted your resume online every day and even highlighted the local paper’s want ads. But you still don’t have a job.


In today’s economy, job applicants are flooding the market, making it very hard to break through the static and get noticed by a potential employer. To get a job, you are going to have to get creative!


Ask your family and friends. This core circle of your community is often overlooked, because you assume they know you need a job and would tell you if they heard something. However people need directives for action – so hit up each person on an individual basis, let them know you that are looking for a job, and what type of work you are searching for. Do this in person or at least over the phone, as blanket “Hey can anyone help me?” statements on Facebook will get lost in a flash.


Connect with former employers that you are in good standing with, and ask them for leads. Although you may no longer be in the same industry, they may know of other people or organizations that need your help.


Talk to everyone you can, and make friends wherever you go. It has been said that 90% of jobs go to someone who knows someone. By that idea, the more people you know, the better chance you have of getting a job, wherever you are. And don’t prejudge people based on their appearance or anything else – resolve to connect with as many human beings as you can, no matter what their status. That guy taking out the trash may have an uncle who owns a technology company.


Go in person to the job location and try to talk to the manager. This will work better if you do a little research first and find out who the manager is and when he or she will be in. Many companies now encourage you to fill out job applications online, but if you can dodge this and put your face on your name, your chances of getting the gig will increase. March in there with supreme confidence and tell the manager why you are the best person for the job. And don’t forget to smile.


Work for free. If you are able to, working as a volunteer or intern will give you skills and connections that will benefit your future career immensely. Plus, the boss may be so impressed with your work that they will hire you later.


Check categories on Craigslist you usually don’t. In fact, check them all- besides the jobs that are misplaced, you might find a great opportunity when you search outside the box. Don’t forget the “gigs” section at the bottom of the page.


Turn a small job into a big one. Do you have a job babysitting every Friday night? Ask the parents if they have any friends who might also need a babysitter. Did someone hire you to paint their front porch? Let them know you do landscaping as well. Serving smoothies at a mall café in the afternoons? Tell your boss you are ready and available for any extra work they might have. You can often turn a small or one-time gig into a more profitable work experience.


Forge strategic relationships and connect with your community. If you are trying to get a job at a certain bank, and all the bankers go out to happy hour every Wednesday, then socialize there and try to connect with people in your circle; this will make it much easier for you to get “in” with a job, because you are already “in” with the crew! You don’t have to be sneaky or underhanded about it- just be yourself, and show that you fit in and would make a nice addition to the team.


Peace Corps. Is this whole “job” thing just not cutting it? Are you tired of your surroundings, bored of your friends and yearning to live a life less ordinary? The Peace Corps is looking for you. You may earn a pittance during your time working abroad, but the knowledge, experience and connections you will make will benefit you for your entire life.

How To Know If He Is Lying

HOW TO KNOW IF HE IS LYING


Are You Suspicious Of Your Mate? Here Are Ways To Know If He Is Lying!

Do you remember this joke:


How can you tell if a man is lying?


-Is his mouth open?


Of course. No one lies all the time, not even men. However everyone lies sometimes. One study showed that in a ten-minute conversation, the average person fibbed six times. Or fudged it. Stretched the truth, told a little white lie, exaggerated a bit.


When humans lie, we are saying something we know to be untrue, and this makes us nervous. Our blood pressure rises, and we seek to pacify ourselves with small and often subconscious gestures like rubbing our faces or crossing our arms. They can be very fast, but can be spotted by an attendant observer.


In the end, you must listen to your gut. Your “gut” is really your subconscious mind, which picks up on cues from your environment that your conscious thoughts do not. While logically you may have no reason to doubt a certain person, if your gut is screaming otherwise, listen to it. It is picking up on micro-gestures and other behavioral cues that you have learned in the past indicate deceit and know to be true, even if your conscious brain doesn’t quite know why.


However please note: you will never know 100% if a person is lying. Even FBI agents who have interrogated suspects for an entire career admit that there is no foolproof lie detector, machine or otherwise. There are no hard and fast rules, only guidelines that put together give a strong indication that someone is lying, male or female. These following gestures just show that the person making them is nervous- hiding something, or uncomfortable in some way and seeking to pacify himself.

IS HE LYING TO YOU?


- Is he giving you intense eye contact, or almost none?


- Does his story have way too many details, or almost none?


- Does he always suspect you of deceit and often accuses you of cheating, etc? Treacherous of heart suspects treachery of all others.


- Does he have his hands in his pockets, his arms folded, or is using something like a chair or another item to otherwise physically block his body from yours? Physical blocking means he is also trying to block the truth from getting out of brain.


- Does his voice get higher when he answers your questions?


- Does he get very defensive when asked simple questions like, “What did you do last night?”


- Does he switch details of the story around?


- When you ask him a question, do his eyes look to the right? When humans try to remember past events, their eyes look to the left. When thinking about future events (or making things up as they go), their eyes shift to the right.


- Does he rub his face, neck, hands or legs?


- Does he touch his nose?


- Does he lock his legs around the back of his chair?


- Is he acting very different than normal? Is a usually laid-back guy being uptight, or a high-strung individual all of a sudden a loose goose?


- Is he using a lot of hand gestures for emphasis to his story? He thinks his words need support. Is he making no gestures? He is afraid that his hands will give him away.


- Does he momentarily cover his mouth with his fingers?


- Does he shrug often or do the “hand shrug,” a variant of the shoulder shrug, which involves the palms turning upward, and out? A shrug represents apathy and expresses diminished responsibility, and is a way to distance himself from the lies he is telling.


Overall, the better you know someone, the more easily you will be able to tell if he is lying, because you will be familiar with his usual behavior and can determine when he diverts from it. Listen to your gut, don’t be blinded by your heart, and in the end- make a decision with your brain.

GIVE PRESENCE, NOT PRESENTS

Give Your Children the Gift They Really Need This Holiday 

The holiday season is fast approaching and many parents are concerned about the family financial situation and the money problems they may be experiencing. As if rising food prices, stock market instability and skyrocketing health care costs weren’t enough, parents now have the added concern of finding available money to put a few presents under the Christmas tree or to share a gift during the family’s Hanukkah celebrations.


The giving of gifts is an honored tradition in most homes during the holiday season. Many parents are wondering what they will give this year as they tighten the money belt and attempt to weather the financial storm through the holiday.


Perhaps the answer lies in the gifts that are given. Give children what they really want from their parents, presence – not presents. All children spell love T-I-M-E. What we can give to them is our attention, our availability, our mindfulness, our closeness, our time.


Are you being fully present with your children? Can you let go of your worry about money and the giving of gifts? Can you suspend your agenda to focus on theirs? Can you learn to be there for and with your children? Consider the following suggestions as a way to give the most important present – your presence – this holiday season.


1. BE THERE REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING


The holiday season requires an added measure of balancing kid’s schedules, work responsibilities, visiting family, cooking elaborate meals as well as regular requirements of keeping up with the laundry, etc. When feeling pulled in several directions many parents turn to multi-tasking. We’re suggesting that you avoid the urge to multi-task and strive to stay focused on the moment at hand. When you sit with your children, whether it’s to play a game or read a book, give them your undivided attention.


2. MAKE A "BE" CHOICE

How you choose to “be” affects whatever you choose to do. When you are with your children, choose to be interested in what they are interested in. Choose to be happy that you have the time to focus on their needs and wants. Choose to be excited about the time you have with them. Even when misbehavior occurs in your children, choose to be glad that you have the opportunity to help them learn a new behavior or a new way to communicate a desire or express a feeling.


3. FOCUS ON LISTENING RATHER THAN TELLING

Children spend a great portion of their day following directions such as: pick up your clothes, make your bed, sit down, be quiet, go play, chew with your mouth closed, stop picking on your brother, hang up your coat, brush your teeth. The list of commands seem unending. Remember, children have valuable things to say too. Many times parents get so focused on telling that they forget to listen. Value your children’s opinion. Allow opportunities to vent. Embrace their point of view. Invite suggestions. Listen to their voice.


4. CONNECT EMOTIONALLY

Feelings are always more important than things. Create an environment where it is safe to be emotional. Encourage the expression of feelings. Allow your feelings to extend to your children as you share traditions, reflect on holidays past and gather as a family. Have empathy, compassion and understanding.




5. CONNECT PHYSICALLY


Touch is a powerful way to communicate “I love you.” Get close and touch your children’s heart with a warm embrace or a gentle squeeze of the shoulder. Snuggle under a blanket and read together. Go for a walk and lock hands. Wrestle on the living room floor. Distribute hugs, smiles, winks and an occasional high five.

6. UNPLUG FROM THE ELECTRONIC WORLD

The television, computer, video games, and iPods have the potential to create a disconnect from personal interaction. Unplug, turn it off, and walk away. While riding in the car unplug the headphones, turn off the DVD player and tell your children a story about the day they were born or about a favorite holiday memory. Shut down the computer, turn off the X-box and play a game of chess, checkers or monopoly together. Stand up, walk away from the TV and go shoot baskets, skip rope, or ride bikes with your child.







7. PLAY BY THE KIDS' RULES


Play with your children at their level. Build mud pies, jump in rain puddles, roll down a hill, spray shaving cream on the kitchen table and join in the creation of artistic designs. Cover the driveway in sidewalk chalk. Let your children take the lead and change the rules of a game if they want. Know that play, no matter how childish or silly it may appear, is an investment in connecting with your children. Play regularly and remember the reason for play is to play, not to win.


Make a commitment this holiday season to give the best gift you can give by being present in your child’s life.  Be active and interactive on a daily basis with your children. Be the parent you were called to be. Give your presence.